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Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kindness. Show all posts
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Unconditional Positive Regard
"If your partner in life, child, friend or pet makes a bid for your attention, don't turn away. For this moment, they need your unconditional positive regard. This is more than one of the greatest gifts you can give; it is the key to making and keeping satisfying relationships."
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Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Essay: Buddhist “Right Speech” as a practical virtue
Information and comments on the essay:
Buddhist “Right Speech” as a practical virtue
From the book: Chum for Thought: Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters by David Satterlee
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Read or download this essay as a PDF file at: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B4eNv8KtePyKZG9KZVRoYXhGUmM/edit?usp=sharing![]() |
Chum For Thought: Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters |
Buddhist “Right Speech” as a practical virtue
You may know that I am writing a book about virtues. I added
the Buddhist “Noble Eightfold Path” to my listing of virtues after an
unproductive search for a virtue that fully embodied “delicacy of speech.” That
is, the deliberate choice of words that carefully avoids damaging the fragile
stem of newly-sprouted expression in others. It was gentler than tact. It was
more specific than thoughtfulness. It was more loving than kindness or even
loving-kindness. It was a gentler movement of a whispered expression than love.
I could think of nothing more apt then the first Eightfold path virtue of
“Right Speech.”
The Buddhist concept of Right Speech, of course, covers the
courser commissions of lying, malicious slander, harsh anger, and idle gossip.
However, to me, in this moment, it also needed to go past “do no harm,” and
past pure and absolute gentleness–all the way to nurturing delicacy without
hint of harm; speech that was fully, aptly, right.
I have been in the writing practice of completing a
fully-formed suite of ideas, usually about a single-spaced page, and taking it
downstairs to read aloud to my wife. She is usually quite tolerant and will
pause in whatever she is doing to receive it. She rarely responds with anything
but mild acceptance or a simple, thoughtful word of approval. Sometimes she
notices one of my characteristic shifts in verb tense or a typo and I am grateful
to her for noticing that.
Last night, she called up the stairs to say that I she had
sent me an e-mail and asked if I had read it. No, I wasn’t aware of it yet, but
I would check it out. I discovered that she had written the first chapter of a
children’s book, based on her childhood experiences. At the end, she had
written,
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