Essay: Setting limits

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Setting limits

From the book: Chum for Thought: Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters by David Satterlee

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Does Setting limits cause #isolation, loss of #intimacy, and even #alienation of #love?

Chum For Thought:
Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters

Women often feel at a disadvantage in relationships with men. Social pressures, openly or unrecognized, can give men a dominant role. How is a woman to feel self-respect, personal worth, independence, initiative, control, and security? The common answer, these days, is to “set limits.”

Setting defensive limits makes intuitive sense. “That which cannot touch you cannot harm you.” But, at what cost in isolation, loss of intimacy, and even alienation of love? In fact, the issue of boundaries and limits can affect the character of any relationship, not just those between men and women.

Kinds of Limits

Parents and teachers are urged to set firm, appropriate limits for young children as part of youths’ guided moral development. The goal is for children to