Getting to Happy

The United Nations recently declared the first International Happiness Day. What’s not to like about individual and general happiness? After all, our national culture is founded on an expectation of “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” So, what can we all do to get happier?

One of the things that I learned, while working for Amoco Oil Company, was the management principle that “what gets measured gets done.” The idea is that a leader must not only establish expectations, but create a way to measure progress and provide feedback to those who are responsible for, or affected by, the changes needed to achieve goals. (He or she must also find ways to reward those who promote that progress and punish those who obstruct it.)

The United States has used “Gross Domestic Product” (GDP) as a measure of economic activity since the Great Depression. Our measure of GDP has persistently improved; it has doubled since the 1960s. Yet, the economist who devised the GDP once warned Congress that “the welfare of a nation can … scarcely be inferred from a measurement of national income.”

Positive Personal Emotions

Traditionally, psychology has focused on identifying and treating mental disease. However, the new field of positive psychology can help us identify and cultivate personal strengths so as to pursue happiness and enjoy positive emotions. This constructive outlook frees us from heavy burdens of regret for our past, unnecessary sadness in our present, and fear of our future.

Many people spend too much time entertaining sorrow, blame, and guilt over events from their past. However, the past is unchangeable. All we can do now is contemplate the past, learn from it, accept our present situation and decide how we intend to move on. Consuming ourselves with negativity is never productive. If we want to be able to forgive others and want others to be able to forgive us, we must start with learning how to accept our own forgiveness.

The present is what we have. Right now, we can experience this moment, interpret it for better or worse and make a choice. We can be happier if we act virtuously – in harmony with our values. Many people have realized that acting out of harmony with their values produces a lot of unnecessary stress.

The Key to Relationships

"Even the poorest people can have wonderful relationships without transactional gift-giving.
Go do something wonderful for someone you have, or would like to have, in your life."
~ David Satterlee

Essay: Setting limits

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Setting limits

From the book: Chum for Thought: Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters by David Satterlee

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Does Setting limits cause #isolation, loss of #intimacy, and even #alienation of #love?

Chum For Thought:
Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters

Women often feel at a disadvantage in relationships with men. Social pressures, openly or unrecognized, can give men a dominant role. How is a woman to feel self-respect, personal worth, independence, initiative, control, and security? The common answer, these days, is to “set limits.”

Setting defensive limits makes intuitive sense. “That which cannot touch you cannot harm you.” But, at what cost in isolation, loss of intimacy, and even alienation of love? In fact, the issue of boundaries and limits can affect the character of any relationship, not just those between men and women.

Kinds of Limits

Parents and teachers are urged to set firm, appropriate limits for young children as part of youths’ guided moral development. The goal is for children to

Networking: Section 3 - A Small Business in the Family

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Section 3 - A Small Business in the Family

From the book: Building Your Network Business: Proven Ideas from Successful Leaders by David Satterlee

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Read or download this essay as a PDF file at: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B4eNv8KtePyKcHVMb0ticDhBY2M/edit?usp=sharing

• Getting your husband's respect and attention
• Getting respect from family and friends
• Involving your spouse 
• Involving your children
• Living herbally ever after
• Men, women and relationships 

Poem: Social Capital

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Social Capital

Life Will Get You in the End:
Short Stories by David Satterlee

from the book: Life Will Get You in the End:
Short stories by David Satterlee

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Read or download this story as a PDF file at: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B4eNv8KtePyKVXVsQ1BmUkRfUXM/edit?usp=sharing

A traveling sage, in the Mid-east in Biblical times, makes a choice between building buildings and building relationships. 

Social Capital

He came to us from far away

Across the barren land —

Lonely and forgotten from

His trek across the sand.

The well refreshed his very soul

And so he praised it much.

He thought of wonders he had seen

And knew that this was such.

He spoke of joining trust in plans

And building mighty towers.

But, we could little trust to him

This land, which was not ours.

We bid him leave, with heavy heart

And, “Do you know the way?”

And almost knew, though, as he left

That he’d be back some day.

His goal would be less strong to build,

But more to give a smile.

Now, who’d begrudge a gift like that?

It’s good once in a while.