Essay: Setting limits

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Setting limits

From the book: Chum for Thought: Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters by David Satterlee

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Does Setting limits cause #isolation, loss of #intimacy, and even #alienation of #love?

Chum For Thought:
Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters

Women often feel at a disadvantage in relationships with men. Social pressures, openly or unrecognized, can give men a dominant role. How is a woman to feel self-respect, personal worth, independence, initiative, control, and security? The common answer, these days, is to “set limits.”

Setting defensive limits makes intuitive sense. “That which cannot touch you cannot harm you.” But, at what cost in isolation, loss of intimacy, and even alienation of love? In fact, the issue of boundaries and limits can affect the character of any relationship, not just those between men and women.

Kinds of Limits

Parents and teachers are urged to set firm, appropriate limits for young children as part of youths’ guided moral development. The goal is for children to

Story: I.H.T.F.P. (I Have Truly Found Paradise)

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I. H. T. F. P. (I Have Truly Found Paradise)

from the book: Life Will Get You in the End:
Short stories by David Satterlee

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Read or download this story as a PDF file at: https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B4eNv8KtePyKemRWZmlVekE1X2s/edit?usp=sharing

Life Will Get You in the End:
Short Stories by David Satterlee

Looking for the ideal place to live, our hero discovers that there is trouble in paradise. 

I. H. T. F. P. (I Have Truly Found Paradise)

Dear Friend,

For years I have been looking for an ideal place that combines mild climate with greater isolation and the company of like-minded people. The stress of life near a big city was making me hypersensitive, anxious, intolerant and hostile. People there are too loud, too fast, too filthy and too rude. I need to get away.

Several years ago, after careful research, decided that western North Carolina and the Pacific Northwest were generally good and had a lot of potential. Among other things, they both share surprising mild year-round climates. I visited the Appalachians and made an extended tour of the Rocky Mountains.

In the past few months, I have done additional research and begun to focus on southwest Oregon, specifically the Rogue River Valley from Ashland, Oregon to Grant’s Pass – all surrounded by forested mountains. Now, in this trip, I have been able to