Positive Personal Emotions

Traditionally, psychology has focused on identifying and treating mental disease. However, the new field of positive psychology can help us identify and cultivate personal strengths so as to pursue happiness and enjoy positive emotions. This constructive outlook frees us from heavy burdens of regret for our past, unnecessary sadness in our present, and fear of our future.

Many people spend too much time entertaining sorrow, blame, and guilt over events from their past. However, the past is unchangeable. All we can do now is contemplate the past, learn from it, accept our present situation and decide how we intend to move on. Consuming ourselves with negativity is never productive. If we want to be able to forgive others and want others to be able to forgive us, we must start with learning how to accept our own forgiveness.

The present is what we have. Right now, we can experience this moment, interpret it for better or worse and make a choice. We can be happier if we act virtuously – in harmony with our values. Many people have realized that acting out of harmony with their values produces a lot of unnecessary stress.

Are You Ruled by Your Emotions?

"Think outside your own limbic system. Don't let the deep ruts of your familiar emotional reactions control how you feel, what you think and what you do. Take a breath. Look up. Ask a thoughtful question. Take a moment to listen to others."

I Told You So

I Told You So

A Fergus Johnson story of gender relations

You have to understand that discretion is often about what you choose to not say.

Fergus and his wife, Loraine, were on vacation in southern Arizona. It was more than a vacation, actually. They had decided that it was time to move to a warmer climate for him and a place kinder to allergies for her. So, they were also keeping their eyes open for climates and communities where they might like to live.

Fergus and Loraine enjoyed each other’s company and enjoyed exploring new places together. They noticed things and pointed them out to each other. They worked well together and they, especially, traveled well together. Sometimes, Loraine’s heart would swell with affection and she would spontaneously offer: “I love you.” More often than not, Fergus would be caught off-guard and look like a deer in headlights. Truth be told, getting that reaction might actually have been part of her motivation for saying it.

Essay: The emotions of transformation

Information and comments on the essay:

The emotions of transformation

From the book: Chum for Thought: Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters by David Satterlee

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Chum For Thought:
Throwing Ideas into Dangerous Waters

The emotions of transformation

[With appreciation to the research of Susan Cook-Greuter]

The language, concepts, and vocabulary that people use forms the filter through which they see and understand the world. At higher levels of development, you become aware of this process. You are more-able to stand back and observe, not just everything else with dispassion, but your own actions, reactions, emotions and motives as well. You can enter the ego and see that you are playing this game or that game and be a genuine witness to your own struggles.

At first, you feel suspicious of this new perception. You don’t understand it well enough to defend it. It feels threatening and disturbing. Your foundation of assumptions has begun to crumble. You become aware of more of your mental processes such as creating explanatory stories and drawing conclusions. You begin to question all of the stories that you have previously created to explain things. But gradually you become more comfortable with the process of watching your mind at work.

Once you can begin to see yourself reaching the limits of previous understandings, struggling with inadequate ideas, and struggling to sort things out in a new way, there is a joyful satisfaction, an uplifting glow as you feel yourself